Hi my friend,

I’m sitting here this morning with a cup of coffee, thinking about the piece I sent last week — the one about the last six years of my life.
If you missed it, here it is: https://ethicalconman.com/posts/the-story-i-ve-never-told-publicly-until-now​

Ever since sending it, I’ve been getting messages from people who saw themselves in that story — the chaos, the self-sabotage, the constant “firefighting,” the patterns that never seem to change, the way we keep putting out fires while secretly being the ones who strike the match… the deep sense of not feeling safe in life, not feeling safe to be seen, to trust, to love, or to be loved.

People resonated with the loop — the life that keeps repeating itself no matter how hard you try to outrun yourself.

And what’s become really clear to me is this:

Everything I’ve been through — every teacher, every tool, every collapse, every miracle — hasn’t just been “my healing.”

It’s been initiating me.
Preparing me.
Walking me, step-by-step, through the actual mechanics of moving from the left road to the right road…

…from a life of struggle to a life of peace, trust, relaxation, and love.

Not so I could launch a product.
Not so I could teach from a mountaintop.

But so I could guide others through a way through —
a map from survival to surrender,
from tension to trust,
from gripping life…
to letting life guide you.

And these last few months — as I’ve surrendered more than I’ve ever surrendered — something has shifted.

For years, the ocean of my life felt like a cold plunge: tense, shocking, something I had to power through just to endure.
But it’s been warming, layer by layer.
And now this same ocean is becoming a place I can actually relax into rather than fight — something I can rest in instead of resist.

As that’s happened — as life has slowly become less of a cold plunge and more of a warm, steady jacuzzi — I’ve begun to see something clearly:

When the water is cold, you believe you must build your own doors.
You believe that if you’re not hustling, forcing, manufacturing opportunities, you’ll freeze.
You’ll drown.
You’ll disappear.

And I know that world well.
I was a master at manufacturing doors — creating them, pushing them, kicking them open.
And I can tell you with every cell in my body: it doesn’t work.
It never works.

The right road is different.

On the right road — the warm-water road — the doors aren’t built by you.
They’re opened by the intelligence of the ocean itself.
Your only job is to notice them… and walk through.

And this — this noticing, this willingness to walk through — is what surrender actually looks like.

Because I want to be honest with you: my life is still imperfect.
There are still challenges, still waves, still things I haven’t figured out.
But I’ve surrendered to all of it — surrendered to the imperfections, surrendered to the unknowns, surrendered to the pieces still unfolding.

And that’s what’s changed everything.

When you surrender, you meet your life from a different nervous system.
But surrender doesn’t happen first — trust does.
You cannot surrender to something you fear.
You cannot relax into an ocean you don’t trust to hold you.

Trust is what warms the water.
Surrender is what finally lets you climb in.

And once the water is warm, everything shifts:

You stop bracing against the cold.
You stop clenching.
You stop gripping.
You stop drowning in effort.

You simply sit in the warm water of your own life —
and from that softer, more open place, doors appear that you could never have forced open.

And from that same surrendered place in me, a door has opened —
a door I’m meant to walk through.

And I’m starting to see that this isn’t just a door for me.
It’s a door I’m meant to open for you — the one reading this — if you feel called to step through it.

And this door that’s opening?
It’s not a program.
It’s not a product.

It’s a map — a map for a small, intimate group of people who are ready to walk this path together, from the left road to the right road…

Not with me as a guru.
Not with me as an expert.
But with me right here — in the real trenches of parenting, money stress, uncertainty, rebuilding, trusting, letting go — where surrender isn’t poetic… it’s practical.

And I want to be clear about something:

This map is not about fixing your circumstances.
It’s not about making you a millionaire in six weeks.
It’s not about manifesting your dream house on command.
It’s not about hacking your reality like a checklist.

This map doesn’t promise outcomes.
It restores access - the only place change has ever come from.

It reconnects you to the cause — the only place true change ever begins.
Because the life you want… the movie you’re longing to live inside… cannot be reached by rearranging the props on the stage.

It only becomes possible when the projector changes.
When the frequency changes.
When you change.

This is a map back to the place where the impossible becomes available — not because you forced it, but because you finally became the one it can come to.

A map to the right road.
A map to the warm water.
A map to the life that’s been waiting for you underneath the fear.

So I want to ask you something simple.
No pressure, no commitment — just honesty.

If I were to offer a 12–15 week journey called The Arrow — a small, intimate group where I personally guide you through the same revelations, practices, tiny habits, ego dissolutions, and faith shifts that carried me from the left road to the right road — would that resonate with you?

You’re not saying yes.
You’re not joining anything.
There’s nothing to sign up for yet.

I’m simply listening.
I’m simply feeling into whether this door life is opening for me…
might also be opening for you.

If something in you whispers, “Yeah… tell me more,”
just hit reply and write:

Tell me more.

If not, that’s absolutely perfect.

With love,
​Tony